DAY#9 - Christmas Blog Post Advent Calendar

Picture scanned from a Christmas card - Original artwork by Natalina Marcantoni

Day#9 - Christmas Blog Post Advent Calendar

Have you ever had a chocolate filled advent calendar where everyday you open a window that reveals a delicious chocolate?  Well, this is similar to that - everyday during Advent I will share with you previously published Christmas posts from this blog.  Today there are nine posts because it's the ninth day on this Blog Post Advent Calendar.  

The title photo for each day will be a picture from a Christmas card that I received either as a child or from the recent past.

In case you missed it - FEATURED yesterday:
Chocolate Dipped Coconut Biscotti RECIPE
Chai Tea Made From Scratch
DIY Advent Wreath
Make Your Own Cedar Roping

click on the following title to view the entire post:

100 Years of Christmas Music - 1930's

Swedish Christmas Chocolate Molds

Meal Planning for Extended Stay Company - DESSERTS

Cherished Ornaments Through the Decades - 1970's NATIVITY

Stories#3 From My Family Christmas Tree Ornaments


Roots'n Shoots ORANGIFIED (Carrots, Parsnips & Beets) RECIPE
Snow Shoveling Basics

Who Takes Care of the Caregiver? - Dealing With EXHAUSTION

Chocolate Filled Advent Calendar - FLOWER

"All people are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;  the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of the Lord endures forever." 
1 Peter 1:24-25

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Take Up The THANKFULNESS Challenge!

I challenge you to thank God for something everyday for one year!  Either write it down in a diary OR share with us on a blog.  If you have a blog & would like to share your THANKFULNESS posts with us, then please fill out this form: 365 Days of Being THANKFUL form - click HERE and you will be added to the THANKFULNESS page.

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Who Takes Care of the Caregiver? - Dealing with FRUSTRATION

Who Takes Care of the Caregiver? - Dealing with FRUSTRATION

Frustration is one of those emotions that is felt by both the person who is ill and also felt by the caregiver.  Those with the illness are frustrated with their bodies not healing like they had hoped or maybe the patient is frustrated with the amount of time that recovery is taking.  Caregivers might be frustrated that the sick/patient will not listen to their advice or suggestions.  Maybe the caregiver is frustrated because the patient (in their distress) might be insulting or exasperating to the caregiver.
I'm going to give you an example using the disease of Alzheimer's/dementia.  I took care of my father-in-law and for the last two years of his life he had dementia (as well as many other ailments but we will just focus on dementia).  Literally almost every night I had to get up in the middle of the night (1:33AM, 3AM,  5:15AM etc) because he was calling out in distress.  When I reached his room I found out that all he wanted to know was the location of his wallet and checkbook (he became paranoid about misplacing his money).  I always tried to answer him calmly "your wallet and checkbook are right here within arms reach under your mattress."  That constant repetition of me having to get up and answer the exact same question, sometimes multiple times a night (plus loss of sleep), made me feel like I was going crazy - it was extremely frustrating.  

The question of the day is:  
As a Caregiver, how can I deal with frustration?

Let's begin by defining "frustration".

FRUSTRATION - Feeling or expressing distress and annoyance, especially because of inability to change or achieve something.  Feeling discouragement, anger and annoyance because of unresolved problems.  Disappointed, discouraged, dishearted, irked, cramped, defeated, ungratified, stymied.

Two things are necessary when dealing with frustration:
1. Having patience
2.  Finding encouragement



Often, elderly people with dementia become mean and nasty.  If this happens, you have to remind yourself that this nastiness is not their true personality - it's just part of the disease.  Whether you are caring for someone who is repeating everything countless times a day, or if you are caring for someone who is incontinent (and therefore making messes that you have to clean up) - just respond with patience.  Take a deep breath and do NOT show your annoyance.  They are not doing these things on purpose - it's just part of their disease.  Read the verse above - overlook these insults, repetitions and messes and reply/clean up with patience. 



Finding encouragement might seem almost impossible if you are the sole caregiver.  You might even find yourself in a situation where (because of the constant care you give), you have not been able to attend church and no longer have the backup help from a church family.  Do not fret - you still have encouragement available anywhere and anytime.  It's God!  Through His Word and prayer you will find encouragement!
In the verse above we see that "God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit."  The word "poured" implies that there is a huge amount of love!  That love will not only help us respond to others with patience but God's love will also give us encouragement and comfort.

I

The passage above reminds us that all we need is Christ - Jesus said: "My grace is sufficient for you."  And especially when we are frustrated, Christ's power will strengthen and encourage us to continue caregiving.

You will be able to find encouragement through prayer and meditation on God's Word!


Previous CAREGIVER posts:
Dealing with EXHAUSTION
Dealing with FEAR
Dealing with UNFAIRNESS

Other helpful posts:
FORGIVENESS - Basic Questions & Answers
15 Tips - When a Loved One is in the Hospital
Taking Care of Your Family
What Happens When Those in Authority Ask You To Go Against God's Law?

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Shared with:
Happiness is Homemade
Over the Moon Link Party
Thursday Favorite Things
You're the STAR
Tuesdays with a Twist
Friday Feature Linky Party
Pretty Pintastic Party

_____________________________________________________________________

Take Up The THANKFULNESS Challenge!

I challenge you to thank God for something everyday for one year!  Either write it down in a diary OR share with us on a blog.  If you have a blog & would like to share your THANKFULNESS posts with us, then please fill out this form: 365 Days of Being THANKFUL form - click HERE and you will be added to the THANKFULNESS page.

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Who Takes Care of the Caregiver? - Dealing with UNFAIRNESS

Who Takes Care of the Caregiver? - Dealing with UNFAIRNESS

I used to work for an elderly referral service and so often there is only one family member willing to take care of another family member who is ill or elderly.  For years this responsible relative will competently and continuously care for that family member without ever hearing an offer of help from anyone else.  Not even a word of thanks.  Then suddenly, when there is any mention of money or property, those silent kinfolk show up with their hands out expecting their share or they quickly begin bossing the caregiving relation around.  Or, the caregiver might even be FALSELY accused of atrocious behavior (falsely is the key word).

These are all examples of unfair treatment that a caregiver might receive from family or friends.

The question of the day is:  
As a Caregiver, how can I deal with unfairness?

Let's begin by defining "unfairness".

UNFAIRNESS - wrongful, unethical, injurious, wicked, blameworthy, improper, shameful, dishonorable, unreasonable, petty, mean, discreditable



The only thing that we are responsible for is our own actions.  We can NOT and NEVER will be held accountable for words and actions of others.  That's why, as caregivers, we need to continue doing what we know is right even under attack from "family and friends."
As you can see by the verse above - we will be rewarded for righteousness.



I know that any insults or bad treatment received by family and friends is deeply hurtful and offensive but we must make sure that we do NOT respond in the same way that they treated us.  Just keep doing what is right (actions speak louder than words).  The verse above is just awesome - our good actions will silence those foolish family members and friends.

Do NOT take revenge either - the verse below reassures us that God will take care of the situation.

"God is just: He will pay back trouble to those who trouble you ."
2 Thessalonians 1:6

Job is the perfect example of someone who was treated unfairly by his friends and family.  
Let's refresh our memory on what happened to Job:
Job was blameless and upright - he was the greatest man of the East.
He was very wealthy:  7 sons, 3 daughters, 7,000 sheep, 3,000 camels, 500 donkeys and a large number of servants.
God wanted to prove to Satan that Job would continue to be righteous, fear God and shun evil even in adversity.  This is what happened to Job:
1.  The Sabeans attacked his farmland while his farm workers were plowing the fields - all of Job's donkeys and farm workers were lost!  This meant that he no longer had any sustenance (food) or income from his fields.
2.  His sheep were burned - the entire flock of 7,000 were gone.  This again was an income lost.
3.  The Chaldeans took all of his camels and servants.  This meant that he no longer had any transportation or homelife.
4.  Then, a mighty wind caused the building where all of his sons and daughters were to collapse on top of them.  All of his children died.

These 4 horrible things happened in one day!  To be clear - none of these catastrophes were a result from something that Job had done (example - Job had NOT gambled his donkey's away).  Job was blameless.

5.  Job then received painful sores/boils all over his skin - from the soles of his feet to the top of his head..  (again, nothing that Job did caused these sores)
6.  Job was then ridiculed by his wife.  (again, none of these occurrences were Job's fault)
7.  Job's friends mocked him and implied that he (Job) had wronged God.  Job was still blameless.

Job was very hurt by what his friends were accusing him of and the following two verses show Job's frustration: 

"I have heard many things like these;
    you are miserable comforters, all of you!"
Job 16:2

"Bear with me while I speak,
    and after I have spoken, mock on."
Job 21:3

Job prayed that God would spare his friends from God's wrath, even after Job was so horribly treated by these friends!  After these hardships God blessed Job even more than before the sufferings and He did spare those friends because of Job's prayers. 

I know that it is difficult to ignore the unfair treatment by family and friends but try to continue doing good.  Tell them to "mock on" and just brush it aside!


Previous CAREGIVER posts:
Dealing with EXHAUSTION
Dealing with FEAR

Other helpful posts:
FORGIVENESS - Basic Questions & Answers
15 Tips - When a Loved One is in the Hospital
Taking Care of Your Family
What Happens When Those in Authority Ask You To Go Against God's Law?

Copyright, Permissions& Disclaimer


Shared with:
Over the Moon Linky Party
Happiness is Homemade
You're the STAR
Tuesdays with a Twist
Wonderful Wednesday Blog Hop
Oh My Heartsie Girls Wonderful Wednesday
Pretty Pintastic Party
Wednesday AIM Link Party
Friday Feature Linky Party
Pin Junkie Pin Party

_____________________________________________________________________

Take Up The THANKFULNESS Challenge!

I challenge you to thank God for something everyday for one year!  Either write it down in a diary OR share with us on a blog.  If you have a blog & would like to share your THANKFULNESS posts with us, then please fill out this form: 365 Days of Being THANKFUL form - click HERE and you will be added to the THANKFULNESS page.

Who Takes Care of the Caregiver? - Dealing with FEAR

Who Takes Care of the Caregiver? - Dealing with FEAR

Stage 4 Lymphoma, heart attack, tumor, terminal cancer, chemotherapy, radiation, open heart surgery, brain surgery, pacemaker are all diagnoses or procedures that cause fear and total panic for both the patient and the caregiver.  However, the caregiver has to be stronger and must show a positive and encouraging attitude for the patient's sake (even when the caregiver is terrified inside).
How does the caregiver cope with fear?
There are two different types of "fear".  Many passages in the Bible state that we all must "fear the Lord" - fearing God is totally different than being afraid.  Let's study the different definitions:

FEAR - an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

FEAR of the LORD - it is a fear conjoined with love and hope - it is NOT dread but rather reverence.

You will notice that "fearing God" is actually a deep respectful love of God and the first definition of fear has no part whatsoever in true reverence of God. 



If there is no fear in our love of God then we must learn how to love our Lord God Almighty.  



The way to love God has 4 components:
(all 4 components must be put into practice in order for us to truly love God)
1.  Love God with all your heart - with all your emotions.
2.  Love God with all your soul - spiritually speaking, including all your motives and morals/beliefs.
3.  Love God with all your strength - with all your actions.
4.  Love God with all your mind - with all your thoughts.




Since we know that "God loved us first" (1 John 4:19), that "God loves us so much that he gave us eternal life" (John 3:16) and that "He will never leave us nor forsake us" (Hebrews 13:5) means that we should fear nothing.
Now, this does NOT mean that we will have an easy life free from any difficulties - quite the contrary.  In the Bible verses above it sounds very grim: "though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea" but we have nothing to worry about.  It will be possible to persevere these sufferings because God is our refuge and strength!

Love God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength and you will notice that fear will cease to control you.  You will still experience hardships, but draw on God's strength and you will be able to endure whatever comes your way.

Previous CAREGIVER posts:
Dealing with EXHAUSTION

Other helpful posts:
Comforting Green Pastures & Quiet Waters
Encouragement vs Admonishment
15 Tips - When a Loved One is in the Hospital
Taking Care of Your Family

Copyright, Permissions& Disclaimer


Shared with:
Over the Moon Linky Party
Thursday Favorite Things
Oh My Heartsie Girl's Wonderful Wednesday
Tuesdays with a Twist
You're the STAR
Friday Feature Linky Party
Pretty Pintastic Party

_____________________________________________________________________

Take Up The THANKFULNESS Challenge!

I challenge you to thank God for something everyday for one year!  Either write it down in a diary OR share with us on a blog.  If you have a blog & would like to share your THANKFULNESS posts with us, then please fill out this form: 365 Days of Being THANKFUL form - click HERE and you will be added to the THANKFULNESS page.

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Who Takes Care of the Caregiver? - Dealing with EXHAUSTION

Who Takes Care of the Caregiver? - Dealing with EXHAUSTION

This is the first post in a new series about encouraging caregivers.  When a family member becomes ill or elderly, nobody ever thinks about what that situation does to the caregiver.  I have been a caregiver for most of my life.  When I was a little girl (I am the girl on the right in the picture above), my family moved into my grandparents home so that my mom could take care of my grandfather.  Our home was a 30 minute drive from my grandparents home and this situation was a strain on the entire family.  I had to change schools and while my mother was going back and forth to the hospital, she needed to schedule a reliable sitter to stay at home with my little sister and also for that sitter to be there when I returned from school.  Meanwhile, my father was driving 30 minutes back and forth to checkup on our home either after work &/or on weekends.  It was exhausting.  
This caregiving continued into adulthood for me when my husband went through some serious illnesses and now, for the past decade we have been living in my in-laws home to take care of them (my in-laws).  I totally understand how difficult it is to take care of elderly family members, as well as maintaining two properties inside and out.  It is exhausting.
Often, there might not be any other family member around to help - Or, the family members are unwilling or too selfish to aid in anyway.  These types of situations only add to the exhaustion.

EXHAUSTION - a state of extreme physical or mental fatigue

The question of the day is:  
As a Caregiver, how can I deal with exhaustion?



"Do you not know?
    Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
    and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
    and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
    and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint."
Isaiah 40:28-31

You should take comfort in knowing that God will NEVER be tired or weary!  This means that we can go to Him any time of any day and in any situation!  Our Lord God Almighty will be there for us!  There is nothing too large (or too small) that God cannot handle.  Just as important is the fact that our Lord understands EVERYTHING! - "his understanding no one can fathom".  
This means that you are NOT alone.



"Truly my soul finds rest in God;
    my salvation comes from him."
Psalm 62:1

"He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior,"

Titus 3:5 & 6

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."


Romans 12:1 & 2

Find rest through reading the Bible - meditating on God's word can be very calming and often, He (our Lord), will give you guidance.  You might not even realize that you were struggling with something or searching for answers until you read a passage of Scripture that overwhelmingly touches your heart and changes your opinion/mind.
"be transformed by the renewing of your mind"

Find renewal from the Holy Spirit by praying - remember that the Holy Spirit has been "poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior"!!  The Holy Spirit can minister to you through prayer with a deep urging that cannot be ignored.  Make sure that you pray in a quiet place so that you can be sensitive to noticing these nudges.




"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day."

2 Corinthians 4:16

"fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
Hebrews 12:2-3

That daily renewal is ESSENTIAL if you are going to be able to continue being a caregiver.  You might find yourself looking haggard or maybe the house is in a perpetual state of untidiness but God has given you this task to take care of your loved one.  Follow Jesus' example and do not lose heart!  Endure the hardships of caring for your family member because you are needed.




My family has exprienced that firsthand - life-threatening type problems. 

Remember that physical, emotional and mental exhaustion is eliminated by becoming renewed and refreshed in God - through His Word (meditating on the Bible), through prayer and by the Holy Spirit!

Other helpful posts:
Encouragement vs Admonishment
15 Tips - When a Loved One is in the Hospital
Taking Care of Your Family

Copyright, Permissions& Disclaimer


Shared with:
Over the Moon Linky Party
Happiness is Homemade
Thursday Favorite Things
Friday Feature Linky Party
Pretty Pintastic Party
Tuesdays with a Twist
You're the STAR

_____________________________________________________________________

Take Up The THANKFULNESS Challenge!

I challenge you to thank God for something everyday for one year!  Either write it down in a diary OR share with us on a blog.  If you have a blog & would like to share your THANKFULNESS posts with us, then please fill out this form: 365 Days of Being THANKFUL form - click HERE and you will be added to the THANKFULNESS page.

<a href="http://www.godsgrowinggarden.com/p/thankfulness-challenge-365-days-of.html" rel="”nofollow”" target="_blank"><img alt="THANKFULNESS Challenge" src="http://i1145.photobucket.com/albums/o501/AngieOuelletteTower/Title%20Pages%20or%20Buttons/THANKFULNESSchallengeButton_zpsievqkttd.jpg" /></a>