Sunday, September 14, 2014

Living A Childless Life - Dealing with Regret

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" Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."  Matthew 6:36
I have lived a "Childless" life not because that is what I desired, rather because it just happened that way.  I was married in my mid 20's and then every time we thought we were getting settled in - a crisis would arise: health issues including cancer and cardiac disorders, parents-in-law getting ill at the same time (one with cancer and the other with Alzheimer's), etc....and now I'm in my 40's.  I did NOT plan for all of this to happen - it just did. 

You see, God has been in control of my life all along! God knew that I would not have been able to handle taking care of children when my husband was going through chemo therapy.  And - God also knew that we would not have been able to move into my in-law's house to take care of them if we had had children.  God is in control and has a purpose for everything - even a "Childless Life."

This is the fourth post in a Series on "Living a Childless Life" and today we focus on "dealing with regret."  I don't know how long this series will be, but on the second Sunday of every month we will try to focus on another issue from "Living a Childless Life."


I could only find the word "regret" once in the Bible so I decided to look "regret" up in the Thesaurus:  "shame, guilt, grief, disappointment and remorse."


I started thinking about the regret that I have felt in the past in regards to living a Childless Life.  Regret that I will never hear myself referred to as "mom";  guilt that I will never able to give my parents grandchildren;  disappointment that I will never be able to see a child grow and share or guide them in their life moments;  grief (and this is a selfish one) about not having anyone to take care of me when I grow older.  Then I realized that all of these regrets are either thinking about the past or worrying about the future. 


So, what should we do?  Three things come to mind:


1.  There is no regret in salvation


It's just that simple - nothing else should matter because we are saved through the blood of Jesus.  We will have eternal life because of what Christ did for us.  There should be no regret at all since we have eternal salvation.

 "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret..." 2 Corinthians 7:10


2.  Guilt is overwhelming


Let's be honest - having no children is NOT a sin.  So, why are we feeling guilty?  It's because we have the wrong focus and maybe our personal desire to have children has blinded us from the truth.  We have taken an unnecessary burden upon ourselves. Put this guilt/burden in God's hands - after all, He is in control even when we think we are making the decisions.  


"My guilt has overwhelmed me like a burden too heavy to bear."  Psalm 38:4


3.  Nothing good can come from focusing on the past or the future


Only focus on today.  I know that when I am in a "pity party" mood I spend so much mental energy and emotion thinking and stressing about the past or future that my daily "to-do-list" gets longer and longer.  Focusing on the past or the future is a time zapper.  Just do what needs to be done today. 


" Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."  Matthew 6:36 


Take one day at a time and only do what needs to be done today.


Other "Living a Childless Life" Posts:
Dealing with Jealousy
Dealing with Insults
Dealing with Loneliness
Dealing with Imagination
Dealing with Guilt

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2 comments:

  1. Our plans are not always God's plans. He knows EXACTLY the life He has for you and the fabulous thing is, He is with you every single step of the way. <3

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  2. So looking forward to this series. When I was a little girl I always said I wanted to have 10 children. God had other plans for my life and children were not in it. I have to admit there are days that I have regret that I don't have children. But then I have to stop and look at what I do have in my life and thank Him for it

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