Sunday, May 11, 2014

Living A Childless Life - Dealing with Loneliness

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" 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' "  Jeremiah 29:11
I have lived a "Childless" life not because that is what I desired, rather because it just happened that way.  I was married in my mid 20's and then every time we thought we were getting settled in - a crisis would arise: health issues including cancer and cardiac disorders, parents-in-law getting ill at the same time (one with cancer and the other with Alzheimer's), etc....and now I'm in my 40's.  I did NOT plan for all of this to happen - it just did. 

You see, God has been in control of my life all along! God knew that I would not have been able to handle taking care of children when my husband was going through chemo therapy.  And - God also knew that we would not have been able to move into my in-law's house to take care of them if we had had children.  God is in control and has a purpose for everything - even a "Childless Life."

This is the third post in a Series on "Living a Childless Life" and today we focus on "dealing with loneliness."  I don't know how long this series will be, but on the second Sunday of every month we will focus on another issue from "Living a Childless Life."

Today is Mother's Day here in North America and for many it is a day of loneliness.  This "Holiday" might make you feel extra lonely if your mom has passed away or if you live far apart or if you are Childless.  This day is an obvious reminder to the Childless that they might never be referred to as "Mom" and this adds to that feeling of loneliness.

Firstly, I felt that I needed to define:  Lonely - sad from being alone, producing a feeling of bleakness or isolation, characterized by aloneness; solitary, without companions (definitions taken from "" and "Merriam-Webster").  Lonely from the Thesaurus: deserted, abandoned, secluded, isolated, remote, cut off, friendless and lonesome.

Now let's turn to God's Word and see what He thinks about loneliness.......... I'm looking at the back of my John Thompson reference Bible......."Loneliness" is NOT there! I'm looking in my Compact Concordance................."Loneliness"......NOT there either!!  Try "Lonely"..............Ok "Lonely"......NOT in my back the the Reference Bible - Yes - there are 2 verses for "Lonely" - Let's look them up:

"But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed."  Luke 5:16

In this verse "lonely" to me means private and the word private does not have the same negative connotation that loneliness has.

"God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing;  but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land."  Psalm 68:6

So, God helps the lonely and places them in families!  He takes care of us which means that we are NOT abandoned and we are NOT deserted! 

Just the fact that the word "loneliness" is not used in Scripture says everything!  Sometimes God speaks to us through the gaps as well as through His Words.

Look at the verses below:  

"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'  So we say with confidence, The Lord is my helper;  I will not be afraid.  What can man do to me?"  Hebrews 13:5 & 6

We are NEVER alone and can therefore NEVER be lonely!!  That feeling of sadness comes from our misinterpretation of our situation and frankly - it is a selfish reaction.  By being depressed from the feeling of so called "loneliness" are we not saying to God: "I don't trust You and I don't like what you have given me."??!!!  We need to be content with what we have  - even being content with living a Childless life.  God knows what He is doing! 

God is ALWAYS with you!  When you became a Christian that meant that you will NEVER be alone again!  God will NEVER abandon you!  God will NEVER leave you!

Other "Living a Childless Life" Posts:
Dealing with Jealousy
Dealing with Insults
Dealing with Regret
Dealing with Imagination
Dealing with Guilt

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  1. What a lovely post! -Marci @ Stone Cottage Adventures

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  3. Re-reading this post. When you pointed out the scripture this time it truly hit me what you are saying!!!!!!! This helps me so much this week, Thank you


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